I spoke with a good friend this evening, we had not spoken in 15 years. I introduced her to awomanis.com.

She told me she likes reading other people's stories, but she didn't think anyone would want to read what she had to say. She says much of her stories would be too depressing.

I told her most of us have sad stories to tell.  Life can be crappy and full of tragedy.

Sad stories can have happy endings.

Sometimes the happy ending is being able  to tell our story.

What is your story to tell?

I like to look at romance as a show, a performance where the man stands, and delivers his best to the audience that a woman is.  I'm not speaking of something that is artificial.  I'm talking about real romance, and how it should be acted out forever in a relationship.

Women, wake up in the early morning to dawn a beautiful outfit.  Women adorn themselves with fine jewelry, perfume, and makeup to attend the show that her man will perform that day.

Funny thing, men sometimes, don't look at romance as a performance.  They look at romance as weakness.  No public showing of affection.  Can't even consider something special for his woman. They wake up and put on a pair of pants, a two day old t'shirt and a pair of flip-flops that should be in the garbage with the t'shirt.  He looks forward to a day where he can veg out on the sofa and catch up on some ESPN, NASCAR, or even some Military Channel.  His woman however, has dressed for the show and is ready to see a wonderful performance.

When a man first meets a woman, he understands he must perform to get her attention.  He must put on a show to get her to choose him over the next guy.  He considers his dress, and how he smells.  He will groom himself and learn to say all that right things to win a woman's attention.  Men submit themselves to the scrutiny and judgement of a woman.  Men will face the humiliation of rejection just to get a chance to have a woman as their audience.  Men will wine and dine her, bring her cards, candy and flowers just to secure a permanent place next to her.

Then when he's got her, he eventually gets into the routine of musty t-shirts, dingy jeans and NASCAR or Football.  She's wearing all her beauty for the show that sometimes never comes.  Men look at her, smile and think, "I got her, she's mine."

Funny thing about a woman, she will go to your show in order to give you a chance.  She may smile and give you a healthy round of applause knowing that your show was a flop.  And she will even attend your show again out of duty and children.

One day the man looks up, and his wife is wearing sweats and a head wrap, eating pastries and watching junk T.V.  Then the man has the nerve to ask, "Where is my dinner?"

And mumble, "You've gotten fat."

One day that same man looks up to find his plump woman all dressed up looking as sexy as can be, going out to attend another man's show.

GET WITH IT MEN, ROMANCE AIN'T DEAD JUST ASK YOUR WOMAN!

She said she couldn't dance, I took her hand anyway.  I placed my hand on her waist and we danced she was nervous but she danced.

We twirled in her foyer, she smiled at me, her eyes were bright, she made my heart warm.

She danced even though she couldn't, so she said.  We danced to "You Send Me" by Sam Cooke.

I pulled her close to me, she gripped me tightly, we spun again.

Her daughters watched and giggled at their mommy dancing.

I looked into her eyes and dipped her.  She became light-hearted and giggled.

She was so tickled she continued to laugh.

I asked her if she'd ever been dipped and she said, "No."

Her daughters both said, "DIP ME, DIP ME!"

I danced with her daughters and dipped them both, they giggled and asked to be dipped again and again.

I returned to mom, we danced a little longer and I dipped her again.

As the song ended I stepped backwards away from her and softly remarked, "I thought you couldn't dance, but you did."

She smiled and tapped her heart and mouthed to me, "I love you."

I was having a conversation with a friend.  We were discussing how some men are not present  in their children's lives.   Women often complain about this. He said "Yeah there are a lot of men absent from their children's lives."  but then he continued with a question  that  left my mouth wide open.  He asked,   "But how many of the women don't WANT the man in the kids lives?"

I thought, "WOW!"

I'm a man and I'll speak from a man's perspective.

Men actually don't like conflict, we don't like conflict with other men and we really don't desire it with our children's mother.  When a man is nagged, he most of the time just shuts up.  The "Yes dear." is factual, anything to stop the conflict.

A child psychologist told me often women tend to be the ones using the children as weapons in the divorce.  Most of the time a man will just give the kids to the mother to keep from fighting.  However,  the children are still used negatively, sometimes as a weapon.

When a man is beaten over the head long enough with his children that is enough to send him running for cover even if it means he will not see his children grow up.  I was told by a few different men to do just that during my separation and divorce.  My children's mother was using my children as weapons.  A fellow I grew up with told me, "It may sound harsh but you should just walk away to keep your sanity.  Your kids will seek you out eventually."

Another friend told me, "If she is acting like that just let her have the kids, when they are older, they will come to you."

Both of these men come from divorced homes.  Were  they suggesting I be a deadbeat dad?

My ex-wife enrolled our children into private schools against my wishes.  When I found out, I told her we could not afford this. She kept our children in the school anyway.    I asked around, and found many men have gone through similar situations. I guess one of  the reasons is to get more money from the man.

My ex-wife told my children  I was not any good because I wasn't paying for their school.  I had to explain they were on scholarship.   I also had to explain I was never  told they were being enrolled in the school, nor was I told the cost.  I asked my children how can I pay for what I don't know about and why should I pay if they are on scholarship?

From the outside looking in anyone could say that a man that is not in his children's lives and a man that does not support his children financially is a deadbeat.  However, if we look at the mother of those children sometimes we find that she has been using the children as a weapon and has been up to no good regarding her financial situation.

Ladies, is the man really a deadbeat dad?

Men, how do you want your lady to treat you in the evening?  Do you want dinner to be waiting?  Would you like her to meet you with a glass of wine and very nice conversation.  Do you want her not to nag you and complain about things you have no idea about?  I'm going to tell you all you need to know to have a queen waiting for you in the evening to give you respect, love and outstanding sex when you get home in the evening.

First things first, when does evening start?  This is a very important question and we must begin with it.  For a man evening starts after 6:00 PM, we get off work wanting dinner a woman that's not nagging, peace and quiet and some outstanding sex!  All this starts at 6:00PM.

For a woman, evening starts when she wakes up in the morning to her first interaction with you.

When you wake up are your backs to each other with a foot of space between you?  Your woman would love to wake up to the security and comfort of your contact. Get in the habit of  touching your woman in the night, she'd like that.  Have her wake up to the touch of your hand on her hip or leg, she'd love that.  A little sensual contact goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

We men are mostly task oriented, we love to work.  Whether it's morning noon or night we don't mind working.  Your woman is hungry in the morning, she's thirsty too.  Does she like coffee in the AM or tea?  Get to work making her breakfast along with her favorite morning beverage.  A good breakfast goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

The previous evening your woman didn't iron any clothes so she's having a little trouble figuring out what she should wear.  Pick out some clothes for her because she might start picking out something for Johnny Suave at work.  He's the guy that's just waiting for you to slip up.

While your ironing her clothes, that's right, while you are ironing she's getting ready and she's naked.  You know she's sexy so let her know.  There's nothing like a naked woman in front of a mirror.  Go to her and touch her she's waiting for you, let her know how lovely she is.  Morning time in front of a mirror goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

Wow, you have a little time for love making!  So do it but make sure she's the one that's pleased first.  A little unselfish love making in the morning goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

After you've loved her a little, tell your woman you love her and assist her in getting ready for work.  Women may say they can take care of it because they can but they would love for you to help her out in the morning.  Assisting her in the morning goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

Before the two of you leave each other for work, look at her and tell her how beautiful she is.  She would love that the last thing you say to her before she left your company was that she was beautiful.  A good thought in the morning goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

While she's at work let her know you are thinking of her.  There is this wonderful thing called texting, we all use it for jokes and nonsense.  What happens if you use it to flirt with your lover?  God forbid you tell her something sexual over text message, she might get turned on and want you in the evening.  A little sexual flirting goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

Communication through out the day is a wonderful thing, and email is outstanding.  You know she's getting these chain emails about some silly Walmart customer.  What happens if you send her an email telling her how your day is going?  She might have a passing thought of you, maybe 2 or 3 passing thoughts.  Maybe 20 of 30!  Any way, let her know how you are doing and ask her how she's doing.  Including your woman in your day goes a long way in determining the tone of the evening with your woman.

Work is done, your day was long, you get home and you want dinner.  So make dinner for HER, she'd love this.  Some men think it their right to have dinner on the table waiting for them when they get home.  Well it's her right as well because she works too.  So, make her dinner.

A nice meal does wonders in determining how your woman will be in the evening.

After you loved her in the morning and considered her during the day.  After she's had a wonderful meal and great conversation.  After you have drawn her bath and she has relaxed she will be all yours, a wonderful woman in the evening.