I had a friend long ago, we used to have these very deep conversations about child parent relationships. Both of us had difficulties, like most people do, in some ways about our parents. We both concluded that parents can only do the best they can.

We both considered what our parents thought of us, whether they were happy with how our lives have turned out so far. Our conversation changed drastically with one question. I asked my friend would she like to be a mother like her mother was a mother and would she like to be a wife like her mother was a wife to her father.

I didn’t consider the power of that question until my friend tried to respond, it took a few minutes of contemplation on her part. She later told me she considered not being truthful to me.

She answered me with, “I love my mother, but no I’d not like to be a mother like she was and a wife like she was.”

A mother is free to tell her daughter how she is not pleased with her. She is free to chastise her child well into adulthood.

Mother, stop, would you like to be like your mother?
Mother ask your daughter, “Would you, my daughter, my child, like to be a mother and a wife like I have been?”

The truth can be a lifted burden from your daughters shoulders.

My mother tapped on the shoulder and didn’t say a word. She unfolded a newspaper to the obits and let me read a little poem.

My sister placed an announcement in the obituary about my father, something she does regularly.

I read the poem in memory of my father and my mother says, “It’s beautiful isn’t it?”

My sister is a wonderful thoughtful sister and daughter, she is beautiful.

I spoke with a dear friend today, she is having a time with her family and it all revolves around her families perspective of Christianity. But that’s not what I want to talk about, I want to talk about my mother.

I apologized to my mother today. Years ago I was very religious, my perspective caused me to say a most dreadful thing. I conveyed to my mother, because she did not believe what I did regarding God and Christianity, she was going to hell.

Now, after I apologized my mother could have said to me, “You are a terrible child for telling me this.”
However, my mother said to me, with a smile on her face, “I’m happy.”

Sometimes, mothers will judge their children and find them disappointing. Sometimes a mother will look at her children and find the grace of God to just be happy.

Ok Ladies, we as women often loose our sexuality once we become mothers, or even as we get older. We may no longer like how we look. Our waist is bigger than it was when we were 25. Our hips have expanded. We have dimples in areas we don’t like to mention. We are sagging in areas that are supposed to stand up on their own. So what we can do about it?

We have to realize we can still be sexy. We can still buy bras and panties that match. They may be a little bigger than they used to be, but as women we need to still feel good about who we are and what we have. I used to think that Victoria Secret was just about buying lingerie to have sex. I realize I was sadly mistaken. This is NOT the case at all. Pretty lingerie is about feeling good about ourselves. We can buy it in our favorite color, and know we look good for no one other than us. It is our own secret. No one has to know we are wearing a beautiful push-up lavender bra with lacy matching panties. We can hold our heads high, and be proud just because we are WOMEN. We are beautiful creatures.

Remember with the expanded waist and extra dimples, comes wisdom we didn’t have in our twenties. More on that topic later.

I was in the 11th grade, back in the early eighties, my mother made a statement about what I would see as an adult regarding retirement.
My mother said, “You know, I’m able to retire after working for one company.”

She went on to tell me that we won’t be able to work for one company and retire from that company. She said the money just won’t be there. Companies would just let long time employees go, hire a younger person at a lesser pay, to save money.

I think my mom had a crystal ball under her bed!

It is often said, “The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.” As a matter of fact most of us say this when cautioning our friends about leaving one relationship for another. But I have a question, “Does any grass stay green?”
Grass left to itself will just wither turn brown and die. So it is with a relationship.

Any relationship left to itself will grow cold and die.

If you stop the romance in a relationship, romance dies.

If you stop communication, communication dies.

If you stop treating your partner special, your partner no longer feels special.

You look up and your relationship is over, done.
You look on the other side of the fence and the grass looks green and promising, so you hop the fence.

All your friends tell you, “The grass is not always greener.”

But let me tell you something…
The grass can be greener if you remember to romance your partner, communicate with your partner and treat your partner special. Just as grass needs water, fertilizer and constant care so does a relationship.

With this you can say, the grass sometimes is greener on the other side.

The rescue of the captain of the Maersk Alabama is old news but I got to talk about it anyway. Well not really the rescue, I want to comment on the commanding officer of the Task Force and all the assumptions that we make.

The Task Force commander was a woman, however, I assumed without thought that it was a man. It’s so easy to think that a commander of a military force is always a man. Well, SHE’S NOT ALWAYS A MAN!

Let’s hear it for the military commanders that are women!
Good work Rear Admiral Michelle Howard

The republicans got clobbered in the presidential election. They were shown to be very one dimensional and intolerant. Meghan McCain is saying all the right things. She is saying that it’s about the new, it’s about change for her party to get it’s act together. Too bad it’s much of the same in the republican party.

Here is an article from CNN -

(CNN) — Meghan McCain, daughter of former Republican presidential candidate John McCain, said the GOP is going to have to become more inclusive if it wants to rebuild.

“I just wish that moderates like myself — more moderate Republicans and more socially liberal Republicans — weren’t looked at as, ‘Get rid of the dirty moderates. Get rid of them,’” the 24-year-old told CNN affiliate KTAR radio in a joint interview with her father.

“We need to be an inclusive party. We need to be an umbrella party. We need to inspire 20-somethings, which is something the Obama campaign did very well,” she said on the “Mac & Gaydos” show

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I sometimes go to Sweet Adeline’s to get a sweet treat or a cup of coffee. If you have a chance and you are in the Berkeley area, check them out and treat yourself to something sweet!

Michelle Obama has gone from a “liability” to a true icon and role model for women across the globe.

People have gone from turned off by her statement about being proud of her country to being proud of her!

When Obama first decided to run for president people looked at Michelle and seemed mostly to be a bit miffed by her attitude. Many Americans tried to place on her unfounded dispositions, like “she looks angry”, “she’s unhappy.” You know the usual stuff we try to place at the feet of the American Black woman.

Today, what is she now? She is intelligent, one of the most educated if not the most educated First Lady ever. She is a TRUE role model for all women of this world. She is a fashion icon, the likes of which we’ve not seen since Jackie Kennedy.

These 100 days have shown us a true woman of power, a truly powerful woman that is not caught up in the moment. No, she has made us take note of this moment.

WONDERFUL JOB MRS. FIRST LADY!